The Different Types of Procrastinators
I’ve always been fascinated by people, their brains, and their bodies, which is probably why I’ve always been drawn to pursuing jobs that deal with working with individuals on an intimate level (I was a fitness instructor in high school and college, became a personal trainer, then a massage therapist and yoga / meditation instructor, and now, a coach).
Unlike, say, math (no offense to all the mathematicians reading this), the work of helping people is extremely dynamic. Each person is different, each day is different, and people change constantly based on what they are exposed to and what they choose to practice. This for me is part of the fun, part of the challenge of coaching. I have to always be on my game in order to help people change their minds, and thus, their life. There is always more to learn about the human brain, why we are the way we are, and how to improve my ability to challenge people in support of their growth.
With that being said, today I want to speak about one of the biggest challenges people face when it comes to their growth. It’s quite a misunderstood obstacle, and I actually think that, when it shows up, it’s a gift:
PROCRASTINATION.
I view procrastination as a diagnostic tool - just like pain or stress, when it shows up, it’s an alert.
Instead of avoiding procrastination or seeing it as “bad”, we can bring mindfulness to it, which allows us to learn from it rather than repeat it.
Based on my studies and hands-on experience working with people in the realms of fitness, massage, yoga, and now, coaching, I have determined that there are 5 different types of procrastinators. Knowing which one you are can help drastically in bringing AWARENESS to your tendencies, which is the foundation of change.
I’ve listed the five different types, and underneath, an example (based off of a real person I’ve worked with). These examples are extremes to really allow you to get an idea of how this type of procrastination can manifest at its highest intensity.
THE FIVE TYPES OF PROCRASTINATORS:
1. The Perfectionist
Jessica has a big presentation to give to her colleagues next week, many of them “higher up” than her in the company. If the presentation is a success, it could mean she gets a promotion in the near future, which is something she has wanted for years. She has been so loyal to this company.
She has a rough skeleton of the presentation, but the truth is that she’s been focusing more on the color scheme of her powerpoint more so than the actual content. This is not uncommon for Jessica when it comes to important projects, and she finds it extremely frustrating that the things she procrastinates most on are the things she cares the most about.
Now, there’s only a week left to prepare, and she finds that the more she waits the less motivation she has to work on the content.
Behind The Scenes:
On the outside, you probably would not peg Jessica as a perfectionist. But it is EXTREMELY common for perfectionism to hide as procrastination.
A hallmark of perfectionism is that it is driven by a fear of failure. Studies done on the neuroscience of behavior change show that positive emotions drive action, and negative emotions (like worry, shame, etc.) drive inaction.
When Jessica focuses on minute details like color schemes, what she is really doing is distracting herself from the negative emotions of fear and the (probably inaccurate) feeling of inadequacy. Us humans will do almost ANYTHING to avoid feeling negative in the short-term, even if it means we are creating negative emotions for ourselves in the future (we are weird, aren’t we?)
Jessica also probably feels more confident in her ability to pick out color schemes, whereas she is less confident in her ability to present in front of people that could determine her career future. Perfectionists tend not to be risk takers.
Unintentionally, Jessica creates the result she fears (a less than ideal presentation due to procrastination) by not mindfully being with her fear and feelings of inadequacy. It’s a vicious cycle that you can learn to overcome over time, and what I helped “Jessica” with. If you’d like to hear the real “Jessica” share about her experience with coaching and how it helped her with her perfectionism, click here.
2. The Not Lazy Lazy Person
Mark works as a professor for a well-known college and is highly respected by his company for his dedication, hard-work, and expertise. He works a 9-5, but often needs to spend extra time after work doing miscellaneous tasks and checking in with students for whom he is their advisor.
By the time he’s done with that, all he wants to do is get in his pajamas, order pizza, and watch Netflix. “Even though I know it’s good for me and I feel so good during and after, exercise is the LAST thing I want to do. I can’t even get myself to cook a simple meal. I’m just not motivated”
Behind The Scenes:
Of COURSE Mark isn’t motivated. He physiologically CAN’T be. He spends his whole work day (and sometimes more) tending to the needs of students and being there for people. The Not Lazy Lazy Person often jumps right into self-criticism and self-judgment for not being more disciplined (since they tend to identify as disciplined and hard-working in other areas of their life), but it’s simply not a character flaw.
We aren’t superhumans. Our brains and bodies have their limits. When we are tired, we are more likely to make poor choices. This is especially true if the things we tend to procrastinate on are things we aren’t accustomed to doing (i.e new habits we are trying to cultivate). This is because making behavior changes is incredibly taxing for the brain. The more evolved part of our brain that can plan for the future and do the harder thing can only be active for so long.
This doesn’t mean you are destined for daily Netflix binges and never getting anything done if you have a job that requires a lot of focus. In Mark’s example, procrastination is an alert to REFUEL and REST. I like to call it skillful rest.
What is skillful rest?
Skillful rest is a pause in the busy-ness of your day where you give your brain and body a break.
Skillful rest can be anywhere from 1-60 minutes, and it requires full intentionality, which means you aren’t “halfway” doing it, you are fully devoting your time to it, even if it’s just one minute.
What constitutes as skillful rest:
Taking a nap
Stretching
Exercise (even just 20 push ups will help)
Closing your eyes and breathing
Meditating
There are many other examples, and it depends on the person as well.
Scrolling through social media does NOT constitute as skillful rest (if you haven’t already noticed, it is stimulating, can be emotionally triggering, can make you lose your focus, and doesn’t leave you feeling rejuvenated as the activities above do)
Mark doesn’t need to force himself to cook a healthy meal or exercise when he gets home. Lack of motivation isn’t the issue. Instead, he needs to input skillful rest several times throughout his day (as well as at the end of his day) to refill his cup and provide the mental capacity needed to do the things he wants to do after work - cook a nice meal, exercise for 30 minutes, and truly be present for his family.
3. The Busy One
Lisa is a financial advisor, the school board chair for her two kids’ middle school, and is involved in many other organizations and activities, her favorite of which is a group dedicated to helping stop human trafficking around the world. She is a social butterfly, inspires many with her social advocacy, and is well-known in her small town for hosting up to 2 or 3 gatherings at her home per month. People know they can count on Lisa.
Recently, Lisa and her husband, Bill, have been having marital conflict. Bill feels as though Lisa is never available to him or the kids, and Lisa wants to be present with Bill, but constantly puts off trying because of her lack of time.
Lisa has many goals: to lose 30 pounds, to move her family to the coast of Oregon, to redesign the home, to improve her relationship with Bill, to purchase another car, to exercise daily, to declutter...every time she crosses something off the list another thing gets added.
On the outside it seems as though she thrives on having a lot to do. But on the inside, Lisa is in turmoil. She knows she is progressing in none of her goals, and nearly always feels frenzied and all over the place, which doesn’t feel good.
Behind the Scenes
Lisa is stuck between 1) wanting to hold on to her identity as an inspiring, active member of the community AND 2) her desire to slow down, be present with her husband, and actually make strides toward some of her goals.
Lisa doesn’t have to choose, she can find a happy medium, though she may not know it yet. All it requires is a little bit of mindfulness and some mindset work.
She could definitely use the skillful rest explained under “The Not Lazy Lazy Person”, but more than that, she needs to do some serious work around boundaries.
The word boundaries often has a negative connotation, and for those who love being involved and doing a lot, it can bring up some fear. Will people still like me? But I love all the things I’m doing! What if I’m bored when I let go of things? Who would I be if I didn’t do XYZ activity, I’ve done it for so long!
Boundary setting isn’t shutting people out, doesn’t always involve saying no, and sometimes doesn’t even involve setting boundaries with people. More often than not, the boundaries people need to set in order to overcome the challenges associated with doing too much are about setting boundaries with their mind.
Setting boundaries requires strength, patience, lots of practice, and an ability to let go. If you trust the process, the results are amazing: a much improved ability to focus, more time to do the things that really bring you joy, movement toward goals and dreams, and a feeling of freedom. I wish I had an easy guide to setting boundaries, but this process can’t be boiled down to 3 steps. Schedule a free 30-minute conversation with me here to begin to clear a path toward better boundaries and more freedom.
4. The Shiny Object Grabber
Jimmy is an entrepreneur and is known by friends and family as an exuberant, fun guy. He’s extremely smart, and has wonderfully creative ideas.
Jimmy’s room is a mess. His laundry basket is most often seen overflowing, and his sink is not much different. And at work, he is often criticized (by himself and the people that rely on his work) for not getting things done on time. He has no problem getting started, but completing tasks is where the real challenge lies.
The same goes for goals Jimmy has - like saving money and completing books his friends lend him. He’ll start off great at the beginning of the month spending less money and finally getting to the books he’s been wanting to read, but he easily gets swept away - by a phone call, an invite to a party, an incredible idea to implement in his business, and then forgets what he was doing in the first place. He wants to be able to actually complete things.
Behind the Scenes:
Jimmy has FOMO and has a much easier time connecting with short-term rewards versus the long-term rewards (something that is hard for all of us, by the way).
When doing the dishes and in the middle of it, getting a text from his friend to come hang, he can visualize himself having fun at the party way more easily than he can visualize himself feeling accomplished for completing all the dishes.
Jimmy needs to learn to make the rewards of the mundane tasks (as well as the more important ones) more important to him. It doesn’t mean he can’t ever say yes to another party again, but it does mean that he needs to train his mind to focus and vividly SEE and FEEL the results of the things he wants to complete.
5. The One With a Mental Illness
Pat’s father passed away about a year and a half ago, and they were really close. Even though it’s been over a year, Pat is still finding it hard to do some of the tasks that used to be easy for him prior to his father's death: he drags at work, doesn’t find meaning in his hobbies anymore, lacks desire to practice yoga and meditation, and he finds it hard to get himself to go outside, even in his favorite weather.
Behind the Scenes:
A person who deals with mental illness or has recently experienced a traumatic event has a brain that reflects that and a mind that acts accordingly, making it hard to do anything if you have depression, and making it hard to focus or relax if you have anxiety. No matter how many self-help books you read, coaches you talk to, seminars on “purpose” you attend, it doesn’t change the fact that shit happens. Life is full of it.
In situations like this, it is imperative to reduce the amount of “second arrows” you throw. The inevitable pain of life (a death of a loved one) will hurt. This is the first arrow - we don’t have any choice in it. The second arrows are what we add ON TOP of the pain to create more, unnecessary suffering: “It’s been over a year, why am I still sad?” or “I’m so lazy, why can’t I just get my ass out of bed?” Procrastination is a natural byproduct of many mental illnesses, not a byproduct of your laziness, character, etc. There’s nothing to DO about your procrastination except for practice self-compassion as much as you can.
And, this is a critical piece, talk to a therapist! They are skilled in treating mental illness, and a coach can be a wonderful complement to this work, supporting you in uncovering what’s most important and how to get there via self-awareness and accountability, as well as any additional expertise the coach has (like meditation instruction ;)
Procrastination can be a complex issue, and it certainly helps to have someone on your side, expediting the process of you overcoming one of the biggest obstacles to living your best life.
Want an easy way to keep yourself in check? Grab my free guide, How to Do Anything When You Don’t Feel Like It here. Many of my clients have it printed out and look at it when they are feeling drained, unmotivated, or uncertain about how their procrastination is manifesting and what to do about it.